I'll see you at the movies

The following are all the movies I saw projected onto a giant screen this year...

1. Forgotten Silver (Peter Jackson, 1995) with selected shorts (an American Cinematheque program put together by one Kevin Murphy of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" fame)
2. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
3. Chicago
4. Daredevil
5. A Mighty Wind
6. X2
7. The Matrix Reloaded
8. Bruce Almighty
9. Finding Nemo
10. Hulk
11. Casablanca (shown at Oz Park in Chicago)
12. Johnny English
13. American Splendor
14. Lost in Translation
15. The Station Agent
16. Intolerable Cruelty
17. The Matrix Revolutions
18. Elf
19. Stuck on You

Best of the year: Casablanca

All right, all right, best of the year: The Station Agent, American Splendor, Lost in Translation, A Mighty Wind, Finding Nemo

Worst of the year: Hulk, The Matrix Reloaded, The Matrix Revolutions

Most mediocre of the year: Daredevil

Scenes that most appealed to the adolescent in me: Jennifer Aniston's character's "are my boobs bigger?" in Bruce Almighty; Mystique's attempt to seduce Wolverine with a rapid-fire series of transformations into other women in X2

Scene that most appealed to the dirty old man in me: Scarlett Johansson in her underwear in Lost in Translation

Gorgeous women: Natalie Imbruglia in Johnny English; Monica Bellucci in The Matrix Reloaded; Catherine Bell in Bruce Almighty

Women who would be gorgeous if I'd been able to stop staring at their tracheotomy scars after reading about them in Parade magazine the day before seeing the movie: Catherine Zeta-Jones in Intolerable Cruelty

Slightly less gorgeous women who somehow seemed more attainable and therefore, perhaps, more attractive: Catherine O'Hara in A Mighty Wind; Zooey Deschanel in Elf; Wen Yann Shih in Stuck on You

Toe-tappingest fun: A Mighty Wind, Chicago, the karaoke scene in Lost in Translation

Worst behavior depicted in an otherwise fine movie: Walking on train tracks in The Station Agent

Movies I had to take a bathroom break during: The Two Towers, A Mighty Wind

Movie I might have taken a bathroom break during if Levi Stahl hadn't given a detailed, graphic report on the condition of the park port-a-potty: Casablanca

Biggest flub that only I would notice: The modern-day Amtrak locomotive in a scene taking place in the early 1980s in American Splendor

Worst development in movies: The AMC theaters in Burbank, California, choosing to use the opening of the new Burbank 16 theater as an excuse to raise ticket prices by 50 cents

Most interesting fact: I didn't buy anything at a concession stand this year