Do you believe in magic?

Last night, I went to the members-and-their-guests-only Magic Castle in Hollywood for my company's holiday dinner (yes, a month and a half late). Since it's such an exclusive magic club, I was kind of hoping the performances would involve conjuring up demons and/or entreaties to Satan, but there was none of that, unless you count the guy who I would argue was really more of a mime than a magician (although he was dressed as a magician, not a mime). But at least someone made a rabbit appear. And I made my dinner disappear!

Another victory for the forces of goodness and light

Apple's home page at one point this morning: "Watch the ad during Superbowl XXXVIII."

Apple's home page, 15 minutes later: "Watch the ad during Super Bowl XXXVIII."

I'll see you at the movies

For quite a few years in the '80s and '90s, I had a streak going that every year, before the Oscar nominations came out, I had seen exactly two of the movies that were nominated for Best Picture. Then, suddenly, that streak broke, and I was down to seeing only one of the movies, or even none. (I blame the fact that I didn't see many movies in theaters while I was in college. But if I could count seeing "Blade Runner" an estimated 15 dozen times in the auditorium Annie May Swift Hall...)

At any rate, I'm declaring that a new streak has started this year, thanks to my attendance at "Lost in Translation" and "Return of the King."

Of course, the hard part is going to be seeing two, and only two, of next year's nominees. Hmm, I guess I'm safe with "The Butterfly Effect."

Ping-pong balls

I remember watching "Captain Kangaroo" pretty religiously back when I was much younger and it aired every weekday morning, to the extent that I remember being upset when CBS moved it from 8:00 to 6:30 and cut it from an hour to a half-hour. But the only thing I distinctly remember watching as part of the show is the cartoon feature "Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings." So maybe "Captain Kangaroo" wasn't really all that memorable? Or maybe I'm just getting old (and keep in mind that the "Simon" cartoons are probably mainly stuck in my memory because of Mike Myers paying homage to, or ripping off, the theme song on "Saturday Night Live" with his completely unrelated Simon sketches).

I actually do remember other things from the show, such as Mr. Moose and Bunny Rabbit, but I think those memories are artificial, prompted by seeing latter-day clips of the show in television retrospectives and such.

If nothing else, the death of Bob Keeshan today prompted me to find and download a copy of the version of the "Captain Kangaroo" theme song I remember from the late '70s/early '80s: "Good morning, Captain/Won't you come on out and play?/Wake up the sunshine/And share this friendly day"

Getting your priorities straight

The slogan on the side of a "mobile paper shredding" truck I saw today:

"OUR FIRST PRIORITY IS SECURITY AND THE ENVIRONMENT"

By my count, that's at least two priorities.

The light dawns

No wonder Target had marked this lamp down 50%...the part you're supposed to grasp to turn it on and off is missing. If only I had discovered that before I brought it home and, you know, tried to turn it on (or perhaps off...I didn't plug it in to discover what state it's currently in).

Public service announcement

When you go through a supermarket checkout lane, you're supposed to keep the cart in front of you. When you go through some bizarre convolution that results in the cart being behind you, there's usually no room for the person behind you (e.g., me) to get in and unload my groceries out of my cart. Also, the bagger has nowhere to put your groceries.

Thank you for your attention.

I'll see you at the movies

The following are all the movies I saw projected onto a giant screen this year...

1. Forgotten Silver (Peter Jackson, 1995) with selected shorts (an American Cinematheque program put together by one Kevin Murphy of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" fame)
2. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
3. Chicago
4. Daredevil
5. A Mighty Wind
6. X2
7. The Matrix Reloaded
8. Bruce Almighty
9. Finding Nemo
10. Hulk
11. Casablanca (shown at Oz Park in Chicago)
12. Johnny English
13. American Splendor
14. Lost in Translation
15. The Station Agent
16. Intolerable Cruelty
17. The Matrix Revolutions
18. Elf
19. Stuck on You

Best of the year: Casablanca

All right, all right, best of the year: The Station Agent, American Splendor, Lost in Translation, A Mighty Wind, Finding Nemo

Worst of the year: Hulk, The Matrix Reloaded, The Matrix Revolutions

Most mediocre of the year: Daredevil

Scenes that most appealed to the adolescent in me: Jennifer Aniston's character's "are my boobs bigger?" in Bruce Almighty; Mystique's attempt to seduce Wolverine with a rapid-fire series of transformations into other women in X2

Scene that most appealed to the dirty old man in me: Scarlett Johansson in her underwear in Lost in Translation

Gorgeous women: Natalie Imbruglia in Johnny English; Monica Bellucci in The Matrix Reloaded; Catherine Bell in Bruce Almighty

Women who would be gorgeous if I'd been able to stop staring at their tracheotomy scars after reading about them in Parade magazine the day before seeing the movie: Catherine Zeta-Jones in Intolerable Cruelty

Slightly less gorgeous women who somehow seemed more attainable and therefore, perhaps, more attractive: Catherine O'Hara in A Mighty Wind; Zooey Deschanel in Elf; Wen Yann Shih in Stuck on You

Toe-tappingest fun: A Mighty Wind, Chicago, the karaoke scene in Lost in Translation

Worst behavior depicted in an otherwise fine movie: Walking on train tracks in The Station Agent

Movies I had to take a bathroom break during: The Two Towers, A Mighty Wind

Movie I might have taken a bathroom break during if Levi Stahl hadn't given a detailed, graphic report on the condition of the park port-a-potty: Casablanca

Biggest flub that only I would notice: The modern-day Amtrak locomotive in a scene taking place in the early 1980s in American Splendor

Worst development in movies: The AMC theaters in Burbank, California, choosing to use the opening of the new Burbank 16 theater as an excuse to raise ticket prices by 50 cents

Most interesting fact: I didn't buy anything at a concession stand this year