Classic Scripts

Airlines: Accept No Substitutes

"It's the new terminal. The one your airline's serving now."
By Jim Ellwanger...Aired October 14, 1995

The Complacents at Boot Camp

"A toucan killed my grandfather during the Big One!"
By Jim Ellwanger...Aired November 11, 1995

A Complacents Carol

"Get lost, Creamsicle, I'm counting by minutes!"
The Christmas episode, by Jim Ellwanger...Aired December 2, 1995

Blindy, the Roadie Without Fear, Part 1

"What about the little guy who...just struggles by on good old fashioned porn?"
By Aaron Odland...Aired January 13, 1996

Blindy, the Roadie Without Fear, Part 3

"Delight of golden cake and artificial cream filling haunts Bizarro Monkey Boy."
By Aaron Odland...Aired January 27, 1996

Los Satisfechos

"Pero Johnny esta con muchas mujers porque el es un hombre suave."
By Aaron Odland...Aired February 3, 1996

Let the Circle Be Unbroken (The Curtain, Episode 16)

"Remember, life is good, bombs planted in hockey arenas is bad."
By Jim Ellwanger...Aired February 24, 1996

Band on the Run (Earth Portion)

"That's why I built a timing device into the ejection seat."
By Jim Ellwanger...Aired April 6, 1996